The Ironies of Hostel Sex

by Michelle on January 19, 2011 · 6 comments

(image from sheknows.com)

Chances are, most of you have probably encountered some form of hostel sex while traveling (and although reluctant to admit it, partaken in it as well).

These love-struck travelers usually try to sneak in some passionate sex during the middle of the night when they think everyone else is asleep. However, this usually never goes very well when you factor in the squeaky mattresses, the loud moaning, the perverted guy hoping to see some flashes of ass, and the now traumatized bunkmate sleeping on the top bunk bed…

While everyone has their techniques for ‘discrete’ hostel sex, the most ironic method I’ve seen is the people do decide to drape a blanket over their bunk. It’s like saying, “we want our privacy” but screaming, “LOOK AT US! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE SEX HERE TONIGHT!” at the same time.
My first experience of this was in a hostel in Brisbane.  I walked into the room just as two travelers stepped out from their little “den of love” and walked out the door hand-in-hand. Of course being perpetually disturbed, I pointed my finger accusingly toward the “den of love” as another one of my roommates walked in, and asked, “do these guys have loud sex in there every night?!?!?” (great conversation starter, by the way).
Of course, he thought I was funny and bought me a drink.
And no, we didn’t have any hostel sex.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

chillas January 30, 2011 at 12:38 am

amazing story

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Ryan February 1, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Interestingly enough, this happened to me. The couple next to me were having sex and the next day I noticed that they left their bottle of lube on my bed.

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Michelle (Confessed Travelholic) February 1, 2011 at 10:53 pm

That's horrible! I'm sorry that happened to you! That's never happened to me but I have found some condom wrappers scattered on the floor near my bed…

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Karie April 12, 2011 at 10:17 pm

I've been debating traveling on my own (it terrifies me), and one of my friends that does this often has been telling me all of these stories. Many are similar to this. Pretty funny.

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sollunadm December 31, 2011 at 4:36 am

I wrote some one liners about "hostel sex" while traveling in Yunnan, China- ahem…. this is called "Hostel Lov'n"

You know you're messing around with a hostel boy when you reach over to touch his "package", and instead you get his money pouch.

You know you're messing around with a hostel boy when you get tired of going through layers and layers of clothing.

You know you're messing around with a hostel boy when the only private place you can be at is the roof of the hostel.

Will be coming back with more…. :D

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Claire May 2, 2012 at 12:10 am

Oh gosh! Hoping we don’t encounter any of that on our trip to New Zealand this month. Staying in hostels every night for two weeks :/

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