I feel like one topic that always arises in a conversation with my non-German friends living in Germany, is about the difficulties of making German friends. I may not be the most outgoing person you’ll meet, but I’m also not shy. Being someone who’s lived in almost a different city or country for the past five years, I feel like I’ve always made friends effortlessly wherever I went.
Then again, perhaps it helps that the countries I’ve lived in are Canada, the US, and Australia – countries known for very open, friendly and outgoing people. I’ve made friends at uni, work, parties, and even just walking down the street.
Now with Germany, as much as I do like it here, it’s hard to ignore the stereotypes of Germans being cold and unwelcoming. Some of my friends are some of the most outgoing people I know, and yet they still struggle in making German friends. Looking back on all the friends I’ve made since I came here in August, I realized that I do have quite a bit of German friends. True, had I been living in another country, my friends count may be triple of what it is here, but at the same time, I guess I must be doing something right!
So, after brainstorming and thinking back on all the different ways I’ve met all these Germans, here’s a list of things you can possibly do to meet some more Germans! (They’ve worked for me at least!)
Live in a student residence
I subletted a room in a student apartment for the first two months that I came here, from someone who was away in another city for an internship. With so many students living together, it’s not too hard meeting some Germans!
Live in a WG
This is pretty much a shared apartment, and having a few roommates who are German can be a good way of becoming friends with them. While I only live with one other roommate, we’ve become pretty good friends, and through him, I’ve also met all of his friends. I’ve also noticed that when I was apartment searching on wg-gesucht.de, by telling these potential roommates that I’m moving to Germany from Canada, some have offered to show me around the city, or meet up for coffee, even though we didn’t become roommates.
Mutual Friends
I was pretty lucky that I had a Canadian friend living in Mannheim when I first moved here. Through her, I was also able to become friends with some of her friends. Even if you don’t know anyone living in Germany, it doesn’t hurt to also ask your friends from home. Maybe one of them did an exchange to Germany, or know some Germans that you could potentially meet through them and become friends with.
Dating a German
Ok, maybe I’m jumping ahead a bit, but dating a German is a good way of meeting other Germans!
Going to parties, clubs and bars
While Germans tend to stay within their group of friends when they go out, it is entirely possible to meet them on a night out. Sometimes you may have to be the one to approach them first, but it never hurts to talk to one and see what happens!
Travel to other countries
Yes it does sound ironic, but it works! Germans love to travel, and the ones who go abroad tend to be the most outgoing. Some of my German friends have joked about traveling to Australia to make more German friends, and in a way it’s true! I did become pretty good friends with some German backpackers during my time in Australia, and I’m still good friends with them!
Using the ToyTownGermany forums
True, the site is catered toward English speaking expats living in Germany, so it’s unlikely you’d make any German friends on there. On the other hand, it’s great for making friends in general. I’ve used it and met some girls that I’ve become pretty good friends with. Because it’s a website for expats, most of these people are also probably going through the same feelings of adjusting to living in another country, and also figuring how ways to become friends with the locals. In that case, it’s great to be able to team up, and go out to make some new German friends together!
Have you found it hard making friends in Germany? What thoughts and advice do you have?
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I haven’t found it particularly hard, but I do realize sometimes it is more just one-on-one with Germans, or the Germans who are really comfortable hanging out with a bunch of English speakers (so the one’s who have usually been abroad). Sometimes, it’s just too difficult to have conversations occurring in two different languages. Great tips!
Yea it’s true about the English thing….most conversations tend to be a mix of both languages!
A friend of mine actually created an ‘English-speaking’ group on Facebook for our city here in Germany. I’ve been to some of there get together and it was quite fun meeting new people (Germans and non-Germans as well). Some of them wants to practice their English (and we try our best in speaking Deutsch but we always just end up speaking English again).
That’s a really good idea and it must be pretty fun!
Like tandem partners 
Nice to sorta read my name here
Although we did only one night out (Lisa introduced us 
) you will be remembered.
But yes you’re right, travelling Germans are the most outgoing. Also, bear in mind, that we Germans have the same problems, it’s not we have a “secret German code” to make friends quickly
Haha I still find it so strange how you randomly found my blog! And that’s because you moved so far away! You probably do a lot more traveling than I do these days…maybe you should write a post on here
See you soon!
When I studied in the US for a year, we were told that Germans and Americans both have two walls: you climb the first one to become an acquaintance, the second one to become a friend. Germans have rather high outer walls, but once you made it, you graduate quickly to friend status, and surprisingly often it’s friend for life. Americans have low outer walls, making many acquaintances, but have a high second wall for true friendships. Sounded plausible to me, and still does; I guess Aussies and Canadians are more like Americans in this respect.
Now, for practical tips: In smaller towns the local Stadtfest is always a good place to meet friends. We tend to be most open during those, and there are more ways to meet, like in the line for beer, wine or the toilets – it’s way easier than in a club or a pub. A local English conversation group is indeed a good idea. Then there is the Volkshochschule. Every city has one. Take a class in Ikebana, Fotography, Spanish, cooking, whatever. People will often go out for a beer after class, and you make new friends. Or join a Verein – it’s constitutionally mandated that Germans have to belong to at least three Vereins. Sportverein, Musikverein, a choir, a chess club – those are good places to meet new people. And going to events like lectures, vernissages, etc are also worth it. Germans don’t chat as easily on their own, but they will respond to spontaneous light remarks, like in a queue: “Es kann sich nur noch um Stunden handeln” (it will not last more than a few hours). At a Stadtfest, you might ask people for advice which beer/wine is best and which local food item is woth trying. You will be flooded with advice. (Basic line: Entschuldigung, ich bin neu hier. Was sollte man hier essen/trinken/ansehen…)
All very nice. As a southern European being here is not nice. In a pub people ask: what is this foreigner doing here? I have been with a German girlfriend a long time (almost married) and know what they think about foreigners: inferior beings. My ex used to call monkeys tunned guys and said turks should not be allowed to drive cars..You can make friends if you behave like them: eccentricities are frowned upon. Germans tend to take but not give e.g: They speak English with you as a native, since it is a free English course. However, they will probably won’t help you improve your German.
I do not expect much if any of them, doing otherwise is wasting energy. And I know well enough to know what political correctness is and what they truly think about you. Cheers